Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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