Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I believe in your delicious
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
