I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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