he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
