I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
