false alarm. still invincible.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize