Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
