4 words: hood of his car
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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