I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
