Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
