so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
its liver damage thursday
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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