There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
