No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
