That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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