I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
