I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
