Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
