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• (513): View more from Ohio

  ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME

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• (631): View more from New York

  Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

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• (818): View more from California

  i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...

  (805): View more from California

  i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the essentials, lol

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  this is why i love drunk you

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• (863): View more from Florida

  Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?

  (863): View more from Florida

  The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  What happened?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Vodka. Vodka happened.

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