Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK

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(207): View more from Maine

using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.

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(513): View more from Ohio

You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

(513): View more from Ohio

and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.

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(915): View more from Texas

I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.

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(616): View more from Michigan

After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.

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