You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
