Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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