i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
