rhymes with "ouble enetration"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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