He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
