The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize