note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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