Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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