could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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