it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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