So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize