Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
