yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
