He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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