Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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