The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
