Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
