we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This baby is an asshole
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
