I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
