toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize