So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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