Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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