u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
