Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
