i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
