Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
