Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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