you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
