Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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