I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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