things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
