with your own penis?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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