And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
