we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Still dying that you shit outside
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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