"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
