mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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